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Friendship Day has just passed. It’s the day when we express our feeling to our friends. We all know that it’s the presence of friends only which makes life beautiful. This is the relation which we don’t get by birth but we earn as per our nature and behavior. This is the only relationship which is pure and which doesn’t expect any returns. There are some untold rules of a friendship and which are important to follow to have long term relationship.

  • A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.
  • A true friend is always there for you when you are in trouble, feel sad, angry, mad or happy.
  • A true friend is loyal, trustworthy and stands by you during hard times.
  • A true friend stands up for you when others try to hurt you emotionally or physically, he/she does everything to make sure that you are safe and defends you anytime, anywhere without reservation or reward.
  • A true friend is authentic and honest with you. He/she doesn’t mince words, gives genuine opinion whether you like it or not; Never gives a false feedback, doesn’t hesitate to tell you your shortcomings but also shows you the goodness of your persona.
  • A true friend accepts you as you are. He/she encourages you to become a better person than what you are.
  • A real and true friend doesn’t abandon you in hard times. Your success and happiness makes him/her happy and proud of you.
  • A real and true friendship is not lost over time gap or distance. There are no complaints for not meeting or talking for a long time. It doesn’t really matter. Your love, affection and concern for each other doesn’t diminish.

True friendship is not developed in one day, it is to be cultivated and nurtured over time. It is built on mutual trust and support and enriches life immensely. It has to stand the test of time when different phases and situations in one’s life reveal the true nature of friendship that a person exhibits or supports.

To be a real and true friend you can adopt certain mindsets and actions that help you to nurture a real and true friendship and evolve you as a really true friend.

  • Always be there for your friend. He/She should always have faith that he/she can count on you. Show up and be there in person with him/her when there is need to give support and confidence in hard times. Reassure him/her that you are always there by his/her side.
  • Don’t be scared to tell each other the truth, no matter how difficult it may appear. In times of need, guide him/her with your honest opinion.
  • Accept the person as he/she is, as an individual, without conditions. If you are conservative and your friend is liberal, don’t criticise. Don’t try to change your friend and make him see the world through your perspective. Accept each other with your flaws.
  • Be kind and always listen patiently. Cheer him/her up when he/she is upset and make the atmosphere light. Be serious when there is a need.
  • Be loyal and generate trust and confidence in your friendship. Be always open and inviting to share concerns .He/she should have trust and confidence that with you his/her secrets are safe and secure.
  • Be genuinely happy when he/she gets, receives or achieves something.
  • Show your honest appreciation for his/her every small act. Make him/her feel comfortable in your company as much as he/she feels when he/she is by him/her self.
  • Don’t hold grudges over petty disagreements. Be loving and respectful always. If your friend has certain beliefs and values which don’t align with your own, respect his/her choices and be open to hear about them. Don’t allow your ego to obstruct the path of your true friendship. If your friend talks things that you find boring, annoying and uncomfortable, give him/her space to speak. Your friend should feel comfortable voicing his/her opinion that you don’t agree to.
  • Always keep your promises to generate trust and confidence in your friendship. It may not be possible to keep your promises always but that should be once in a while, not quite often. Don’t ever make a promise that you can’t keep. Explain the situation. “Nos” don’t weaken the true friendship but broken promises do.
  • Apologise if you make a mistake or break a promise .Say sorry with sincerity, your friend should feel it. It will not lower your prestige rather it will increase your respect in his/her eyes. If your friend makes a mistake forgive and forget.
  • Don’t let your friends feel left out. Just because you have acquired higher position, power and money, don’t distance from your friends. Always remember their support and help in your hard times.
  • Don’t use your friends to take advantage of their position and power only. Be selfless and reciprocate the act of kindness and caring deeds of your friends. Go beyond the call of duty. Recognise the moment when you need to go above board and beyond limits to help your friends. Don’t worry it comes back.

Allow your friendship to evolve and mature according to each phase of your life. With changing phases of your life from school to college to a married person your life has changed. Your responsibilities have changed, so must your friendship. Think of your friendship as flexible and elastic and not solid and rigid. Appreciate the changes your friendship has made over the years and learn to grow along with it.

Real and true friendship is strong enough to pass the test of time.  It is not affected by changes in status of friends. Real and true friendship is the most precious asset of one’s life, therefore, it should be handled with utmost care. It should be nurtured with love and affection, respect and appreciation, loyalty and trust and selfless dedication.

Happy Friendship Day!

Kiran

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